Yes, I think too much

Time to let it all go

with 7 comments

I have wanted to use this blog to build up an identity divorced from weight loss issues, and in part it has. Unfortunately, I think that having it at all encourages me to keep a toe in. I even have either talked myself into getting involved in weight loss forums again. I told myself that this involvement was a means of sharing what I have learned in helping “cure” me of my food relationship problems, and that there was value in putting it out there to see if it helps other people. That may or may not be true (I actually believe it is), but I think I need to make a cleaner break of it.

I think that I already write enough for outside blogs (again, completely different than this) to have an identity apart from this and this may have just a transitional aspect and I have to utterly abandon any association with weight-related issues, at least for awhile. I believe the time has come to let it all go and walk away for a long time. It’s not that I don’t have a separate identity (because I do), but just that I think I’m clinging to this in a way which really has no value for me anymore. There comes a point when you convince yourself that you mean to “help” people, and indeed you may really want to, when it’s as much or more about validating your view (by proving that it works) than about actually helping. I do want to help people with weight problems, but I think that the internet is neither the time nor the place for such help. I know that seems like an odd thing to say as many people do get/feel helped, but I’m dubious of the long-term outcome of such assistance. And, what is more, I’m also dubious of my motives and to what extent this is about me instead of about others. This is an answer that can only be had by cutting the cord between me and anything connected to weight loss.

Before I started losing weight, I never talked about it or read various resources. That is the person I must be again, and that is the person I will return to (sans the weight and bad relationship with food). That person’s interests on a daily basis were in no way connected to talking about bodies or food. While I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I think it’s time for me to at least move entirely away from it for at least 6 months in order to  see where it takes me. If it brings me back, I may start posting here again. If it doesn’t, then I wish everyone who has so kindly followed me the best in their lives. I’ll be out there somewhere doing something else. Who knows, you may even stumble upon me. 🙂

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Written by yesithinktoomuch

January 29, 2011 at 1:20 am

Posted in Uncategorized

7 Responses

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  1. I will miss reading your thoughtful and provocative prose. Your posts always leave me thinking more deeply about the issues, sometimes for days afterwards. I have frequently brought up your ideas in conversations with friends and family–to gently enliven and expand on our usual areas of communication.

    Your most recent post about the unconscious ways in which people “adopt” others to provide external motivation (through punishment, for instance, such as subtle threats of abandonment) opened a door of dialog between my son and I that helped us navigate more smoothly through a bit of turbulence in our relationship.

    I’ve enjoyed our little debates, too. I like a bit of rhetorical jousting and prodding. You have been gracious even when, inadvertently, I have inched into snarky territory.

    In other words, your writing has often gotten under my skin! What an exceedingly gratifying thing for a reader to experience in this day of superficial blathering. I especially appreciate your delicate sharp edge, which is well honed yet neither cutting nor cruel. That’s a tricky balance to achieve, one that eludes most contemporary writers.

    Far too many authors take the easier route with sarcasm layered throughout, a saccharine-laced trifle that leaves the reader wishing she had not been so easily seduced by its tempting surface appearance. Your writing is exceptional.

    Your choice to focus on your identity apart from weight loss is refreshing and, ultimately, reflective of the many inner processes you continue to deconstruct and reassemble–in healthier ways–for yourself.

    Thank you for all you have shared with your readers. It has been an extraordinary pleasure imagining the person behind the words. May you experience continued success, good health, peace of mind, and much contentment throughout your life!

    Rebecca

    RNegade

    January 29, 2011 at 7:04 pm

  2. @Rebecca, Ditto. Thank you so much for your blogs up to this point. I will miss you, but wish you the best of luck in the next stage of your journey.

    MIS

    January 30, 2011 at 3:48 am

    • Yes, to all of the above! I will also miss your writing and insights. Reading your posts always taught me something and made me think. Congratulations on all that you have accomplished so far and good luck in the future.

      Karen

      February 3, 2011 at 2:48 am

  3. I’m going to miss you.

    Kathryn

    February 4, 2011 at 1:02 am

  4. Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

    My very best wishes to all of you. Take care, and see you out there. 🙂

    yesithinktoomuch

    February 4, 2011 at 2:01 am

    • A bit late to the show, but I too will really miss you! I do understand your motivation though and wish you all the best. Hope to read you again one day!

      NewMe

      February 7, 2011 at 8:55 pm


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